Phaneuf Funeral Homes and Crematorium

How can you help a family member plan their funeral? There is a stigma attached to talking about death. Somehow just talking about it makes it seem closer, so many don’t talk about death. But how can you plan a funeral if you won’t talk about death? “We prepare for the arrival of a new baby, we plan for it, we think about what we are going to buy and what we are going to call the new baby. It is part of our daily life, our conversation. Why do we not prepare for our death in the same way? I would like everyone to have a good death but we can’t achieve that unless we as a society stop whispering and start talking about it,” said Katherine Sleeman, Palliative Medicine Registrar at the Cicely Saunders Institute. Learn more.

Ensure your wishes are known Planning a funeral can be done at any stage of your life. Whether you’re deep into enjoying your golden years, in the early stages of planning for retirement or just sending your children off to college, it’s never a bad idea to start thinking about your final wishes. Ever notice how the biggest events in life—a surprise pregnancy, losing a job unexpectedly, emergency home repairs, a death in the family—can cause such a financial strain when you aren’t prepared? Fortunately, you can act to get our affairs in order. Sometimes witnessing grieving friends or family struggle to make decisions while under severe emotional or financial stress shows the importance of planning ahead. Many of us haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about final wishes. Perhaps you could start with determining whether you want a burial or a cremation. Then, you can work through what you want your funeral or memorial service to look like. Finally, what kind of tributes you want to celebrate your life: whether those are speakers, particular music selections or mementos to display. We encourage you to discuss and write down your wishes. We can also help you plan for those wishes through resources and personal consultations. Consider how this final, selfless act of love ensures that your loved ones aren’t burdened with decisions and costs at the worst time imaginable. Learn more.

Funeral processions are a longstanding tradition, serving as a final tribute to the deceased while providing the bereaved with a sense of collective mourning and support.  In New Hampshire and Vermont, like elsewhere, participating in or encountering a funeral procession on the road demands a specific etiquette and adherence to local laws. This comprehensive guide delves deeper into the practices, legal requirements, and etiquette surrounding funeral processions. The Significance of Funeral Processions A funeral procession is more than a convoy of vehicles from one point to another; it’s a deeply symbolic journey, marking the transition from a service commemorating the deceased’s life to their final resting place. This practice has roots in ancient customs and is observed with solemn respect in many cultures around the world. For family and close friends, being part of this procession is a poignant part of the farewell process. Learn more.

Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging time, and the complexity increases if the death occurs away from home. We’re often asked what to do when someone dies away from home. Whether your loved one was traveling, living abroad or spending colder months in warmer climates, understanding the steps to take can ease the burden during a difficult period. We offer comprehensive advice and solutions for those needing to manage a loved one’s final journey home. Make Measured Decisions In the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death away from home, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. However, taking measured steps can help you navigate this challenging time more smoothly. If you’re not with your loved one when they pass, resist the urge to make immediate travel plans. If you are not with your loved one at the time of their death, note that identification and necessary arrangements can often be handled remotely, saving precious time and resources. However, should you be with your loved one at their time of passing, it’s better to stay put until all legal and procedural matters are addressed, as sudden deaths may require investigations and could be more easily addressed in person. Learn more.

Eastern Orthodox mourning traditions For those belonging to the Eastern Orthodox faiths, which includes Greek, Russian and Roman Orthodox believers, funeral rites are closely tied to the church and steeped in tradition and ritual. Shortly after death, the body is cleansed and clothed by the family and friends of the deceased. In some cases, the clothing may reflect a person’s station in life—for example, veterans may wear their uniform and those belonging to the church wear ceremonial garb. A priest is typically present for this process and blesses it by sprinkling holy water. Once the body is prepared, the family will usually hold a wake, which begins with the First Panikhida, a prayer service. Although in some cases a wake can last for up to three days, in recent times it is more common to hold it in a single day. During this time, family and friends may read psalms and share in their grief. Learn more.

Grieving brings us together through healing and reconnecting even when it’s done virtually, such as via our live streaming option for services. But death etiquette is vital when posting condolences virtually via social media. The informal nature of social media makes it more socially acceptable to talk about death. However, it’s a good idea to be a little more formal than normal when sharing your thoughts or condolences on social media channels such as Facebook or Instagram. Don’t add to a mourning family’s discomfort or sorrow. Consider the family of the deceased first If you were one of the first to get the news of a death via a call or text, remember that is not an invitation to publicly post about it on your social channels. If you’re not the one writing and sending the obituary, you probably shouldn’t be the one breaking the news on Facebook. The devastating loss of a loved one is hard enough. Don’t make it worse by announcing a death when it isn’t your place. If you’re struggling with grief and need to share or relieve it, talk to family members or friends. Then you’re not running the risk of hurting feelings or creating negative situations, such as the family of the deceased getting bombarded with texts and calls. Learn more.  

A shift in military funeral traditions We’re experiencing a change in military funerals between pre- and post-Baby Boomer generations of veterans. Older veterans are more likely to have a full funeral service, with visitation and graveside burial, while younger veterans, from Gen X and Millennials to Gen Z, are more likely to have a brief military observance at the gravesite, forgoing the funeral home entirely. Veterans aged 50 and younger also often choose a cremation option over traditional burial. Learn more.

What is Palliative Care? Palliative care is a specialized form of medical care designed to alleviate stress and pain for people suffering from serious illnesses. It aims to enhance the quality of life for both the patient and their family. This form of care brings together specialty doctors, nurses, other healthcare providers and a patient’s regular medical team to offer comprehensive treatment and support. Importantly, palliative care is not limited by the patient’s age or the stage of their illness and can be provided alongside curative treatment from the moment of diagnosis. A key distinction to understand is between palliative care and hospice care. While both focus on providing comfort, palliative care begins at the diagnosis stage and can be given concurrently with curative treatments. Hospice care is reserved for after curative treatments cease because the patient’s condition will not improve. Learn more.

How Long Does it Take to Plan a Funeral: A Journey at Your Pace For those looking ahead and planning their own funeral, the process is marked by significantly less pressure compared to arranging a service immediately following a loss. The absence of an imminent deadline allows for a thoughtful and detailed exploration of preferences, ensuring that one’s final wishes are clearly laid out and communicated. This proactive approach affords the planner the luxury of time, enabling a thorough and unhurried collaboration with the chosen funeral home to finalize plans. Learn more.

When it comes to making the difficult decisions that accompany the end of a life, understanding cremation cost is crucial for many families. The choice between a burial and cremation often comes down to cost, with the casket alone potentially surpassing a complete cremation package. For families wishing to honor their loved one’s last wishes by scattering their remains in a special location, the savings from opting for the more economical cremation service can facilitate this meaningful journey. The need for price transparency for cremation services cannot be overstated for several reasons. Learn about those reasons in our new blog post.